Most important thing I gained from this historic week at the DNC...

Michelle Obama's hair was FIERCE!!! She was rocking the layered cut, wasn't she?



And the hair just got more fierce as the week progressed. One day, I hope to be wealthy and/or powerful enough to bring my stylist Kenne with me on road trips. Disclaimer: Yes, I am vain, and my existence is mostly consumed with superficiality.

Below is video of Mrs. Obama's speech from earlier this week. I heard it was a pretty good speech! Sadly, I don't think I caught one word of what she was saying. It's all about the hair.

http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4383642n

Neo-Liberalism

I had a wonderful childhood and upbringing. My parents will tell you that they know they made some mistakes (what parent doesn't) but now that I am an adult and have kids of my own, I know without a doubt that parents don't get any better than mine. They are children of the 50's and 60's. They were some of the first to integrate Georgia State University back in the 60's. Somewhere along the way (I'll have to do a little research to determine exactly where) blacks realized that it was in their best interests to align themselves politically with the Democratic party. I want to say that the arrival of the Kennedy family in the late 50's had something to do with it. My mom and late-grandmother speak very highly of the Kennedy's always, and the Civil-Right's era has in some ways always been associated with this family.



Needless to say, as a child of the 70's, I was taught by example and experience that Democrat (Liberal) = GOOD and Republican (Conservative) = BAD. In the now defunct "Black Community" that just went without saying. I think it's fine to have an opinion, but the sad thing was that I was never actually told why people felt this way, or why I should feel this way.

Well, once I got married to my hubby who grew up in Chicago, I got a different perspective on what liberalism actually meant. In fact, the more exposure I had to white liberals and conservatives, the more my own feelings actually began to change. Being around white conservatives has always been very easy. I always feel like I know who and what I'm dealing with at all times. But since I've been in my mid-twenties I've had a gripe with most white liberals I encounter and spend time around. I could never figure out how to succinctly express it, but Los Angelista expresses it perfectly today:

"...there are those who call themselves liberals, Democrats or progressives but they are happy to identify themselves as such as long as the "other" stays on the other side of the city. Everything is all good as long as folks only have to fund raise for a cause or argue at cocktail parties about the cause. However, they don't want the cause coming and moving across the street, actually being competitive for spots at top universities or getting the job they wanted for themselves."

BINGO. That's what I have been trying to communicate to my family members and friends for a few years now. My black friends especially, don't seem to get it, but I attribute that to the fact that they live here in Atlanta, a city that is atypical of the rest of the South and nothing at all like living up North. I have a black friend that moved away recently to a big city dubbed the "2nd most liberal city in the U.S." She expressed the exact same sentiment after living there for a few months. Her exact words were "It's really easy to want to join hands and sing "Kumbaya" when you don't have to actually hold hands with black people." Well put.

A few years back, I was at the birthday party for the son of a guy I used to work with. His parents were there along with a few of he and his wife's friends. One lady there (liberal, of course) who is a teacher in Atlanta Public Schools started on a rant about "those kids" and "their parents" and such. Chris and I sat there quietly because this was very typical mindset and nothing new to us. However, my former co-worker's wife's father (who lives in Connecticut) spoke up, and pointed out that there are inner-cities in his town also, but they don't have the same problems that she is speaking of. His point was that it's not a "them" vs "us" thing. I think he was suggesting that it's probably more of "get your damn act together down here" thing. After driving home from the party Chris and I remarked on the fact that it was nice to finally spend some time with an "old school liberal". And I could finally understand why my parents would have wanted to align themselves with people such as this.

Transparency

I am a walking collection of images. I believe that most adults are capable of adapting to our current situation as needed. In my case, however, I have a bunch of different personalities on storage to be used as the situation calls for. When I'm at work, I am professional, fun-loving, always happy Tami. When I'm at home, I am lazy, curl up on the couch with my laptop, don't want much excitement Tami. When I'm at church, I am ray of sunshine, life is perfect, everyone's friend Tami.



What these "on-storage" personalities have done over time is shroud the real Tami from most of the world. With the exception of my husband and a couple of VERY close friends, my true, complete identity remains a mystery to most. There is very little that I find more freeing than just being COMPLETELY transparent. Thus the purpose of this post. I'm not revealing everything at once...just two or three things that I tend to keep hidden. Here goes:

1) I am hyper image-conscious.



Most of what I do and say is motivated by how I think I am coming across to others or how I think they will receive me. I have in my mind what I think are the ideal internal and external human qualities (physical beauty, smiles, physical fitness, great posture, super positive outlook on life, etc...) and I work day and night to present this in my everyday walk. This ties in to why I am such a people-pleaser in some ways, and need validation from others. I feel that I need to be sure that the image others have of me is the one I'm trying to present.

2) I am very territorial when it comes to my friends. Here's a quick example. I have a really good friend that I met at work. She and I became extremely close and spent a lot of time together during my first year at the company. Over time, she also began getting to know a couple of other co-workers that I became friendly with. Even though neither of us are as close to the other co-workers as we are to one another, she eventually began feeling obligated to invite them to come along EVERYWHERE that she and I went. And they also began inviting themselves along EVERY TIME she and I were going to hangout for lunch. I became somewhat resentful of the other two co-workers; I felt that they were imposing on the friendship I had; they never interacted with her unless I was around.



Since I was the only link between them and my friend, I expected them to get that and not invite themselves to lunch with us as frequently as they did. Here's the thing: I've been on the other side before too. At my last company, if I became close to "co-worker A" who I sat right next to, "co-worker B" who I wasn't as close to would would come over to our area and invite "co-worker A" to lunch. I was NEVER invited by "co-worker A" OR "co-worker B" to go along with them. EVER. So in my mind, it served as a lesson that one should make their own friends, instead of assuming that you are friends with someone "by-proxy".

I am just now realizing is that maybe the behavior at the last company was actually shady, and the behavior at my current company is more common/normal. And this is most likely the case looking back at the sum total of behavior I was exposed to there. Anyhoo, that's all for now. I'll share more next Sunday.

Javier Bardem - Rising success in US

Very few people have never heard of the movie "No Country For Old Men". It was the breakout hit of 2007, and won 4 Oscar's in February (including best supporting actor for Javier Bardem). Javier instantly became my favorite actor after watching his convincing, chilling depiction of serial killer Anton Chigurh in "No Country...". Well, I have a very addictive personality and tend to obsess on things easily. I started going on and on to anyone who would listen about how Javier was the best actor ever known to mankind. I noticed that for every 5 Americans that I would gush about Javier to, only about 2 even knew of Javier at all. For those of you that are thinking, "Well who the heck is he?", here's a picture of Javier playing the role of 'Anton Chigurh':



Creepy huh? Now here's a picture of Javier Bardem just being himself at the Screen Actors Guild Awards earlier this year:



Yes, I'm sure you need a fan right now. Even if you're a man. :-) He's smoking hot. But even more than that he's an AMAZING actor. I think he's become more of a celebrity here in the US finally. He's reportedly engaged to Penelope Cruz, easily one of the most beautiful actresses in the world, and a great actress in her own right. And "No Country For Old Men" put him on the map here in the states. Below is video footage of him arriving on the set of Good Morning America last week to talk about his role in the new Woody Allen movie "Vicky Cristina Barcelona". He definitely seems to be on the come up here in the U.S. Good thing is he doesn't appear to give a crap; which is good because it won't go to his head. :-)

Throwback Jam

Update: MY BAD!! How did I forget about the best live late-night performance I've ever seen????? This brother dances his butt off!! And his dancers are NO joke!



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I'm taking it back to 1988! This was back when rap music was still creative and great for ALL ages to listen to. And this was BY FAR my favorite MC Hammer song. I would dance to this song over and over for hours all weekend long my 8th grade year. This song was probably Hammer's last big hit in the "black community" before he actually became a mega mainstream hit with "U Can't Touch This". Don't get me wrong, black's still loved him after he went mainstream, but I'm only pointing out that the video below was just before that time came.

And it is with great pleasure that I give you..."They Put Me In The Mix". Best Hammer song ever. As a side note, my hubby pointed out recently that every black man in America was in love with B Angie B, who is featured in this video. She the one in the opening who is singing, and also has a small part in the middle of the video. Enjoy!

New Beginnings

2008 has been some year. I spent the first few months of it trying to recover from the sudden, overwhelming loss of both my grandmother and my 10-year old dog Sheba. Later came the suggestion from my kids' pediatrician that I should have my son evaluated for a couple of potential developmental issues. So I spent the first half of the year extremely distracted. I wasn't able to function at work the way I had envisioned early fall of last year. I was on a roll back in Sept 2007, and figured I'd be at a certain point by Sept 2008 that would seriously catapult my career-path. However, I spent most of my time dealing with the heartbreaking agony of death and focused on ensuring the mental health and development of my children to the best of my ability. I have been emotionally exhausted overall. But the Lord has carried me through all of this, no doubt about that. I wouldn't even be able to type this, let alone function normally these days otherwise.



Tomorrow, I will be working from home, and Tuesday begins my son's first day of Pre-K in a new Christian school in our area. I will be praying for his continued health, safety, growth, development, and protection everyday of his life. His classroom will be on the same hall as 2nd and 3rd graders. He will be taking his lunch to school and eating in the cafeteria. He will be going to the library for quiet reading time! My little 4-year old baby boy!! My daughter just started a new school last Wednesday; I will continue praying the same blessings over her life. Both kids' schools are within minutes of our home, and will thus cut our daily commute time by an entire hour and a half!! I'm getting an hour and a half of my day back to spend with my family instead of sitting on the roads of Atlanta cursing out stupid non-driving morons and asking my kids to stop whining on our LONG drive home everyday! Thank God.

I feel like with these new opportunities comes the opportunity for growth in different areas of my life (family, job, church, friends). I will continue to pray over this and do the best I can to stay focused on the heart of God and live as a true example of His grace and love as much as possible. One thing we know for sure...tomorrow on Earth isn't promised to any of us, and I'm going to start living like it!!

Capturing the moment v/s living the moment

A good friend of mine loves to take photos. From time to time she will even bring her camera to work and snap shots of us (whether we are in the mood for it or not) :-) One of the things about her pictures that I always think is so cute is the sheer number of them that she takes! If she printed them out you could use her pictures as a flip book and view animation for goodness sakes. No, I'm not exaggerating.



She and I were talking recently about fun trips we've taken over the past couple of years. She said something that got me thinking. She mentioned that when she's on a trip, she's never really having as much fun as she does looking back on the trip. I found this surprising considering how happy she always looks in the pics. Then I reminded myself of the fact that, again, she always has TONS of pictures to share. I began wondering if this is related. I started thinking about all of my friends who vacation a lot, and it occurred to me that most of them are actually this way. They have several gigabytes of photos accumulated from a trip that only lasted 3 or 4 days. I started wondering whether or not these people are spending a great deal of their trip trying to get the perfect photo to show to others when they get back home. In the age of social networking, are we more concerned with what our Flickr or Facebook friends will think of our photos than we are about having a great time with our friends and loved ones? Interesting times we are living in...they kind of sneaked up on me to be completely honest.

In fact, I even caught myself scrolling through my memory card photos during the drive home, wondering which ones I could share, and what people would think when they saw them. Then I said to myself "Who cares what OTHERS think of MY family photos?" I like the pictures and that's what matters. This attitude should probably be used more often in my life. I'm 33 years old and so far, reacting to the opinions of others has gotten me NOTHING positive in this life. :-)