Simon Baker in AOL interview

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Great end to the week!

I have SUCH good news to share. Remember in my previous post when I said that I may have good news to share on Friday? Well, I was so excited and busy celebrating what ended up being great news that I'm just now finding time to post about it!

My hubby passed the Georgia Bar Exam. He is OFFICIALLY an attorney now. All of his hard work and our sacrifice as a family officially means something now. It is a wonderful feeling that's hard to describe. It's more of a relief than anything to be honest. My husband is both humble and a perfectionist. He ALWAYS gives nothing but 100% in everything he does. Let me tell you about this man for a second: When I met him he was a 24 year old college freshman who had just spent his first 7 years as an adult in the Air Force. He attended Hampton University and got an undergrad degree in Pre-Med Biology. When I met him and we fell in love, he decided that he didn't want to spend the first 6 years of our marriage broke, so he decided to forgo the medical career. He wasn't happy with the direction his career was going in after about a year of our marriage, and decided to obtain a degree in a more lucrative field. He got his MBA in Finance the year after our first son was born, while working full time. He loved being a Financial Analyst, but he always wanted to be an attorney. In 2005 after our second child was born, he decided to take the LSAT for the heck of it. He did well and got into GA State University Law School. Attending GA State was the best decision he could have made ...their students pass the bar exam at a higher rate than all of the other Georgia schools (including Emory and UGA, which are actually ranked higher at the time - that will change in due time).

So this brings us to where we are now. I am SO blessed to have a man whose number one priority in life is to leave a legacy and a lifetime of wealth to his family. That's all he's ever wanted, and his pursuit of what to some may seem like impossible goals is proof of this. I have always felt like the most fortunate woman on earth to be married to him. He always remarks that he knows I've got his back because I came from an upper middle class family and yet, married a man that was driving a tow truck when I met him. From tow truck driver to attorney...dream big, people. For those of us that dawdle and can't decide who we want to be, just aim high for something and never give up!! Thank you God for keeping our family immersed in your favor and grace!!!

If you sit by the river long enough...

I don't believe anything is happenstance. I know that the word itself has its place, and I even use it from time to time. But, I just don't believe that anything happens randomly without a purpose, no matter how great or small. I believe that God loves us enough to give us the free will to do as we please, but also longs for a relationship with us in return for His unconditional love for us. This is based on everything I've ever read in the Bible, and based on what He has spoken to my heart over the years during and after meditation and prayer.

I have watched two different prime time shows this year that both used a famous quote from an old Japanese proverb attributed to Sun Tzu: "If you sit by the river long enough, you will see the body of your enemy float by". The first time I heard it was on "The Mentalist", a show starring Simon Baker. Everyone who knows me realizes that I'm obsessed with this show...okay, AND Simon Baker. :-) The second time I heard this quote was on last weeks episode of "Flash Forward". (In unrelated news, the star character of the show is played by Joseph Fiennes; if you don't know how to pronounce his name, just take a good look at him, and that's how it's pronounced - FINE. My gosh.) Sometimes I think that if I wasn't so into my husband (in EVERY way) he would leave me due to these silly, albeit excessive celebrity obsessions. :-)

After hearing the quote for the second time in less than two weeks, I spent a few moments lingering on how exactly this quote may be relevant in my own life. You could just note the context that was used in both shows to get a good idea of the quote itself actually means: the people that are out to get you will eventually meet their own demise, so to speak, and you will usually hear a secondhand account of it how it all went down.

Last night, I spent about an hour on the phone with a really good friend of mine that I used to work with. She still works for the company that I was laid off from, and she gives me updates about things from time to time. I am increasingly disappointed in some of the things that were confirmed for me. One of life's hard lessons is that there are some people that you simply CANNOT trust; my gut usually makes me aware of this, but one of my inherent "flaws" is that I always try to find the good in people, even those that don't deserve it. I sometimes go as far as befriending some of them. But most of the time, untrustworthy people will ALWAYS be just that. That's just the way it is, and can only begin to enjoy our life more when we accept this and adjust ourselves accordingly.

I'm not sitting on the dock with a pair of binoculars waiting on bodies to float by, but I get the feeling that in due time, I might see a couple that I wasn't expecting. Too bad...

Learning From My Failures

The definition of insanity, according to Albert Einstein, is "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." I wonder if it's a normal human flaw to stick with what we know or what we've always done, regardless of what the outcome is or has been time and time again. I can speak for myself and say that my ability to procrastinate in doing important things that happen to NOT be so exciting to me has not ceased to strengthen itself over time. It's picked up momentum, in fact, and now I've become an expert at doing what is immediately exciting to me, in exchange for things that really matter. By putting off the important items in my life, I always find myself stressed out and wondering "why didn't I just do it when I had the chance?" This thought brings several things come to mind, namely COLLEGE.

Well, right now, it's very important to me that I get in really good shape. Time isn't standing still, and I need to develop a healthy way of life while I'm still fairly young. I plan to STAY in shape this time. As I mentioned yesterday, I found an online trainer who has given me an exercise and meal plan. He updates it every two weeks so that the body will be shocked, which is how we see results quicker and prevent hitting that dreaded "plateau". Well, it took me 2 weeks to get into the groove of the plan my trainer set up. I didn't stick to the diet 100%,I didn't go to the gym on all of the days that were suggested, I did NOT do every single exercise that was suggested, nor did I drink a gallon of water each day as my trainer suggested.

I took progress pics two weeks ago. This morning, I took more pics in the same poses. I ALREADY see the difference in my body! The difference isn't HUGE yet, but my muscle definition is already starting to present itself in my shoulders, neck, and arms. My legs are starting to firm up just a bit. What motivation!! Just the thought of the results that I could have seen had I stuck COMPLETELY with the plan really gives me the motivation I need to do this thing right for the next two weeks. I can't wait to see the progress pics in two weeks!! I'll be 35 years old by then! :-) :-)

An Exercise in Brevity

I'm challenging myself to give an update from the past several months, but without spending the next hour typing about it. I have about 15 minutes, before I pass out due to exhaustion so here goes:

1) My newborn is now a 12-week old. He will be officially 3 months old on Friday. That time FLEW by! He's holding his head up now, and sleeping through the night, as of last night. Life is good! He spits his milk back up a lot more than his brother and sister did. I'm keeping an eye on that because it makes me a little nervous; but in my heart of hearts I believe that everything is completely fine.

2) My 5 year old and 4 year old are such a joy, even at these hyperactive ages. I love them so much. They are both so brilliant in different ways. I see a little bit of young Tami in the both of them. Good and bad qualities. Math comes easy to one of them, the other one is completely vain, one of them doesn't care what anyone thinks of him, while the other can be knocked down with a feather if you don't give her praise. It's simply amazing. And they're such sickeningly beautiful kids inside and out. God TRULY blessed me in a way that I can't ever measure.

3) Haven't been able to find work, so I'm enjoying being a stay-at-home mom. I go on the kids field trips with them, I make dinner (and dessert) every night, I'm involved at their school more and have established a small network of associates in the other moms, I go on play dates with other stay at home moms, and most importantly, my 3 children get ALL of me, not just the ragged, worn out parts leftover from a grueling day at a thankless job. Many would argue that being a mom is the most thankless job ever, and I wouldn't debate them. But I don't think you can beat greeting your kids at 3pm, being home by 3:15pm and having an entire time with those innocent angels FREE from stress. I wouldn't trade this for anything.

4) Hope to have great news to share this upcoming Friday. If the news isn't good, I won't say anything...if it's great, you'll know about it; the whole world will, if you leave it to me! :-)

5) Been working out INTENSELY the last two weeks. I found a wonderful trainer online, and he set up my daily meals and my daily workout plan. Haven't stuck to the diet as well as I should have, though. But I've lost a good 8 -10 lbs and have lost another pants size (fitting back in my 8's; my goal is to get back into my winter pants which are a size 4 -how could I ever have been that skinny????) I'm going to be a fine mofo by Christmas or bust!!



6) Still have an unhealthy obsession for Simon Baker. Pretty pointless to deny it; even my hubby is hip to it. He's not ecstatic about it, but he's known me for the better part of 14 years now...he knows that I'm ALWAYS going to have some type of fascination/obsession over some type of celebrity. Fame intrigues me; always has for some reason.

7) Cultivating, pruning and watering my friendship garden. There were a lot of weeds, that were causing me a lot of grief, and making it impossible for me to enjoy the beauty of the real friendships that were waiting to blossom. I have some really good friends that really love me, and it's high time I start expressing how much I love them as well. I'm getting better at this.

8) 35 in about two weeks. Having a yummy brunch at a wonderful location in Dunwoody the week after my birthday; waiting a week after my actual birthday so that my sis will be back in town and can be there. I can't wait to spend the morning/afternoon having brunch with people I love!!

9) Hubby is enjoying his new job. In-house counsel for an insurance company in metro Atlanta. He brings home the bacon and I fry it up in a pan...and always make him feel like he's the MAN!! Okay, you get the gist...:-)

Not bad for someone who runs their mouth like an out of control faucet. I can update more often if I can keep it simple like this. Until next time!!

The moldable clay that is my life

I'm at one of those points in my life right now where anything that I do over the next few days, weeks, months, will shape my life in one of a million ways. Things can turn out anyway that I choose! How often do we get a chance to say that after age 25, and after being married with 3 kids? Well I'm FINALLY realizing that I need to look at the state of my life as a blessed opportunity to go on an adventure and even discover more about myself and this world than I even knew existed! Trust me, it's a lot easier to saunter down the hallway of despair that leads to the never ending road of depression, that takes you...well, I don't even want to know where that takes you. I'd rather sip on the lemonade made from all of these lemons I have received this year. All I had to do was add a little sugary perspective to make it taste sweet! More on that in a minute.

First, I want to update on the job search. Being laid off while pregnant REALLY SUCKS more than you even realize at first. I mean everyone has their opinions about "what you should do". I think most people mean well, but you can tell who HAS and who HASN'T been in this situation before. I've gotten "Just pull from your savings for a while!" and "you can just get unemployment so you should be fine." -or- "Just get that COBRA insurance." But my FAVORITE has been "Well, you will save a lot of daycare expense by being home with your baby anyway." Really? Thanks for summing up and solving my problems for me in 3.4 seconds, I appreciate it a great deal.

(Side note: did you know that you're not eligible to collect unemployment while you're unable to work? So if you're in the hospital for 4 or 5 days including full labor and delivery, and then home with your baby for another few weeks and unable to interview for jobs, you're NOT eligible to collect unemployment...AGAIN, being laid off while pregnant SUCKS)

I have learned that we all are SUCH experts on a subject BEFORE we've actually had to go through it ourselves. We think we can be better managers than our boss. We think we can raise better children than those around us. We think we always have the answer to someone's problem, even when they haven't asked our opinion at all. Maybe if we focused more on being encouraging and reminding people that they have a friend, we'd actually not just be using hot air and actually make a difference to someone who could really use the reminder that everything is going to be okay.



But to sum up the job situation, I've been doing the typical dance with recruiters over the past few months. They tell me that I'm a perfect fit for a job. I get excited and wait on them to call me back and give me the date and time of my interview with the company. I never hear back from them. And bow; curtain drops. The steps of the dance are ALWAYS the same...there's just different attire worn and the stage settings change. This has got to be in the top 5 most frustrating things for a person to go through, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

There's this one job that stood out in the pack, though. I got called about it from a recruiter named Kevin back while I was still pregnant . I had about 64 recruiters call me about this one job, because the details in my resume showed that I was THE perfect candidate for this job!! This was the first time that I actually believed that this was MY job. Even though the location is not particularly ideal based on where I live, the job is located in my FAVORITE part of metro Atlanta to work! The pay is AWESOME. And the job function is almost an exact match to what I have been doing over the past 4 years. The one recruiter that I allowed to submit me for the job told me to let him know once I had the baby, and we'd see if the position was still available. I called him 3 DAYS after having my son only to find out that the position was filled. THAT one hurt, plain and simple. I've had recruiters calling me since then and it's just been really much more of the same.



So on Friday I got a call from Kevin again. He said that a position had opened up at the SAME job that I wanted so badly! I literally began jumping around the room. There was one catch...I would have to take an online Java test. I knew there had to be a catch. You see, for people like me, all we need to do is get into the interview. It's a done deal at that point. When you start picking my brain and quizzing me and stuff, well,...let's just say that this is NOT my forte. So I took the test and scored 48% higher than everyone else that took it. Not good. Even though the results earned me a Java certification from Brainbench and said "Congratulations you passed!". I don't think the hiring manager is looking for passing scores. I think he wants to feel confident that the person they're hiring has enough info about Java to work all by themselves on projects. A score such as this doesn't reflect that. I can program in Java with my eyes closed. Can I take a test on the theory of Java fundamentals? Yes, but not well enough to get a high score!

So for now, I'm not going to fret. I'm going to spend a couple of hours refreshing my memory on some Java tips and tricks and take the test 2 more times this afternoon. I'll take it once more first thing tomorrow morning and whichever is the best of my 4 scores, that's what I'll send. Then I'll sit back and enjoy my life and not worry about whether I ever hear back from this recruiter or not. Life's too short to sit around waiting for something that may not happen. Worse case: I don't get a job and it's closing in on Christmas. Oh well, I'll be a stay at home mom and enjoy my precious son and have more time to keep this house looking amazing (which is does) and continue cooking wonderful dinners for the kids. Best case: I get the job and become gainfully employed with a GREAT company, get that gym membership I've been waiting on, and finally have money to put in savings and invest, and also to buy nice handbags, makeup, perfume, and keep my bi-weekly mani/pedi appts. Oh and most importantly, my bi-weekly salon appts will keep my hair looking pretty. :-) We'll see what life has in store! Either way, I feel blessed, and THAT'S the truth!

Getting Ready for Baby

Let's just be honest. My hubby and I are simply overwhelmed. If you look at our "to do" list, it just appears impossible to complete before the baby gets here. Here's just a sample of what needs to be done:

Finish painting baby's room (almost done), Setup son and daughter's new bunk beds in their room, get son's bed out of his room and into baby's room (for mom to sleep on when she comes over to help), Shampoo carpets throughout house, buy new uniforms for son and daughter's new school year (starts in exactly 2 weeks), buy school supplies for son and daughter, get all laundry done (getting close), scrub all bathrooms from top to bottom, buy new shower curtains for guest bathroom, etc...

I just don't know. I think we're at the point where we just need to be realistic, as my hubby suggested. I am only able to accomplish so much, even if my mind and body think that I can do more. I tire myself out after 30 minutes of any type of housework, and that includes cooking. For every half hour of tasks I complete, I need 2 hours to recuperate before I can resume work! Time to prioritize: 1) Finish baby's room , 2) get kids' bunk beds setup, 3) Get bed into guest room, and 4) get shower curtains for guest bedroom and get it scrubbed really well. I may surprise my hubby and get these floors downstairs steam cleaned myself...I said "maybe". But that would take such a burden off of him while he completes his last week of Bar prep. I'm a little worried about him. This has stressed him out more than anything I've ever seen.

On a side note: I've also been trying to plan our 10-year anniversary getaway which will take place this December. My parents' and sister have agreed to keep the kids for us while we're away. Here's what I have in mind: The hubby and I are both obsessed with Orlando, so for the first time ever, we want to get away to Orlando and just live it up swanky-like. I want us to stay in the nicest hotel they have there. Hotel must have in-room jacuzzi and room-service that is to die for, with a great view. I'm VERY picky about the hotels I stay in regularly, so for my 10-year wedding anniversary I want THE BEST they have. I want us to go to all 4 Disney parks and both Universal Orlando parks and ride the rides we NEVER get a chance to ride as many times as we want. I want us to go to dance clubs in Pleasure Island of Downtown Disney during the evening. Basically I want us to have our one opportunity that we'll never forget to live it up in our favorite place on Earth! Problem: It would appear that no such hotel exists in Orlando, FL. I have searched and searched for every amenity I want but no single hotel seems to have it all. So I'm either going to have to prioritize again and get what's most important to us, or I'll just let Priceline do the work based on my personal criteria. I don't do travel agents...

I'm sure I've loaded you with enough info for today. This is quite possibly the last time I'll update this blog before my new arrival makes his way here. Until next time!

The New Tami

Since lots of changes are happening in my life all at once, this hasn't left much time for me to sit around and wait to be hit with epiphanies about why this is all occurring. I've had to roll with the punches with a smile on my face. Even though I've been quite melancholy on the inside for some time now, this isn't something I'm comfortable showing or expressing. For example, I'm not that person whose Facebook status goes from "I'm So Excited!!" one day to "This is such a terrible day. :-( " the very next; don't want people thinking I'm suffering from manic disorder. (Note: I tend to guess that people who do behave this way are just screaming for either attention or a prescription for antidepressants, or just misplaced the ones they already have, or something)

But back to "The New Tami". Here are just a few of the changes I'm currently going through:

1) I'm 2 weeks away from the end of my pregnancy. 'nuff said

2) Since being laid-off from my job back in April, I have become a Stay At Home Mom. I've learned a lot during this experience, mostly that I'm not cut out for it.

3) My hubby is rarely around due to EXTREME prep for the Bar Exam. Throughout our entire marriage, we are ALWAYS together, so this in itself has been extremely difficult.

4) I have reconnected with a lot of people that I haven't had a chance to interact with in years. This is because my normal everyday routine has completely changed and the circle of individuals that I interact with every single day is different now. First off, my sister and I have been having a BLAST! She's a teacher and has the entire summer off and just LOVES it! She spends Sunday evenings planning a fun-filled week for her and her kids. And she bakes things from scratch. And takes pictures and puts them in frames to hang around the house. Get this: Her hubby makes a TON of money, so they can more than afford daycare or camp for the summer. But she just wants her kids home with her all day every day! She's one of a kind! Also, I've had a chance to connect more closely to my church friends. That has definitely made a difference!!

5) I chopped off my crown and glory a week ago. All of that thick, beautiful hair that was cascading down my back is now a close-cropped, chic, sexy 'do! I can't keep my hubby off of me! Not that I could before either, though. ;-) I already sense people reacting to me differently. I don't have young guys barely out of their teens trying to approach me anymore. Bank tellers, waitstaff, people in general seem to take me more seriously without my having to be an a$$hole. In other words, by default I feel that people respect me more. I look my age now (much closer to it, at least) and I can't rely on my beautiful locks to turn heads and get people to notice me anymore. It's what's on the inside that will have to dominate now, so I've definitely got some work to do. :-)

More later...