"I won't be IGNORED!"

Remember that classic line from Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction"? Any woman watching that scene could relate to that line. Even if you aren't a home-wrecking, man-stealing, psychopath, one thing ALL women can relate to is how much we HATE being ignored.

A good friend of mine told me something a while back that I'll never forget. She said, "Some people are miserable enough to go out of their way to make you feel left out and ignored." At the time I thought she was expressing the sentiment of someone who was extremely paranoid. But as time moved forward, I began to clearly see what she meant.

Ever get the feeling that someone is INTENTIONALLY ignoring you? You go out of your way to get to know them, only to be rebuffed with silence? You make yourself available to them repeatedly but get no response from them? Your first thought may be, "Oh they're just busy and will reach out when they have time." Except, you soon notice that they reach out to others pretty regularly...just not you. :-) Ever felt this way?

What does it mean? Maybe they already have enough friends, and just aren't interested in making anymore. Maybe they find your particular personality annoying. That's possible. Maybe they think you're being fake, because NO ONE can be THAT genuinely nice! Or maybe they are envious of you. You and your encouraging smiles actually remind them of how unhappy they are. Who knows!

That's the overall point I am getting to. Who knows, and who CARES? I don't think we should love people any less because they don't jump for joy when we come around. Maybe if we try to be more understanding of the fact that they are at a period in their life right now where they are just not that into you. They definitely have that right, and it should be respected. If we genuinely care about them, wouldn't we focus more on praying for them than analyzing why they aren't reacting to us a certain way in the flesh?

Sometimes being ignored is a good thing. Maybe it's not meant for you to be caught up in whatever drama they may have going on. And maybe it's meant for you to stay strong and far enough away from their situation to provide the best type of assistance possible...the fervent prayers of a strong believer. Being ignored doesn't seem so bad when you think of it this way, does it? :-)

Road to Fitness and Good Nutrition: Day 3

It's like, why am I even still posting these at this point? I've completely abandoned the whole healthy/fitness idea the past two days. But at some point I've got to get tired of coming here making excuses on why I didn't get to the gym. Now, I will say that today I actually did have a good excuse for not making the gym and abandoning my diet plan. If you don't mind TMI, go ahead and highlight the next three words. Womanly issues today. So here's how my day went:

8:45am - chicken burrito from Chick-Fil-A (not too bad of a start at all; I didn't eat the tortilla, just the inside of it)

9:15am - large cup of water

11:00am - Snickers bar (WTH??) I don't even know where this craving came from; oh wait, just I do...the TMI from earlier in the post. Never mind.

2:30pm - birthday cookie w/frosting

9:00pm - rotisserie chicken, salad with buttermilk ranch dressing, chips w/guacamole

9:30pm - kiwi flavored juice

And I'm in a bad mood tonight. No one has done anything to me; everyone has been wonderful. My hubby even went out and got me the yummy eats I was craving. I'm just tired and need a vacation, I think. Off to bed then.

Road to Fitness and Good Nutrition: Day 2

When I'm bad, I'm REALLY bad! the day started off a little rough and went downhill from there:

I mentioned when I posted yesterday (Monday) evening that I was planning to go to bed early so that I wouldn't be tempted to eat anything bad for me. I've got some type of chronic sinus issue that has been keeping me from sleeping soundly for a very long time. Even though I drifted off to sleep at 11pm, I woke up at 2pm unable to breathe through my nose. I stayed up until 5am, and since "Dawson's Creek" comes on The N on Comcast at 5am, I was up until 6 am watching it. I drifted off to sleep around 6:15 and woke up at 6:45am. How brutal is that?

So I jumped up and got the kids ready, took them to school, and was back home by 8:20am. I worked online for a while to take care of some emergency issues. Bear in mind that I haven't eaten anything this entire time. So by the time I get into the office, I'm pretty hungry. I consider going to the gym, but there's too much work to be done and it needs to be done immediately. I "put off" the gym until later in the afternoon.

By the time later in the afternoon rolls around, a last minute group pow-wow meeting is called. By the time the meeting is over, I am FAMISHED.

3pm: Chick-Fil-A sandwich, fries, lemonade
3:30pm Snickers Bar
7pm: Grilled Chicken nachos from Pollo Loco
7:45pm - 2 chocolate cookies

I had a glass of Kiwi flavored juice; no water today. It is 8pm and I can barely keep my eyes open. I have to leave in 15 minutes to drive me and the kids all the way to GA State to pick up my husband from class. We won't be back home until around 9:30pm at which time I will probably crash and burn.

As long as I spend 5 out of 7 days not eating terrible and getting some form of exercise, I'm happy with that.

Road to Fitness and Good Nutrition: Day 1

Here's how my health and fitness went today:

9:30 - pack of sugar-free oatmeal w/ ice cold water

10:30am - ice cold water

11:15 - 12:15pm - up in the gym just workin' on my fitness...lots of room temp water

1:30pm - protein shake, chased by water

3:30pm - 1 tilapia filet and veggies w/ ice cold water

7pm - 1 tilapia filet and veggies

Making it by the skin of my teeth at this point. I'm going to bed at 8pm so that I'm not tempted to eat anything else. Tomorrow, I need to up the resistance training and add some more protein in the AM; hopefully I'll be up early enough to make some egg whites.

Lessons Learned

I don't mind sharing that I am 34 years old as of yesterday afternoon. I look DARN good for my age, and actually consider it bragging to reveal my age. I constantly hear "Wow, you're in your 30's?? Seriously??" I love it, so please keep it up for as long as it's true. :-) :-)

Well you don't live 34 years without making a lot of serious observations about this journey we call life. Here are a few things I have learned throughout my life; these are time-tested truths that I'd like to share with you.

It's fairly easy to tell whose really in your corner. The people that have your back no matter what are consistent. Consistency is key. You know those people that are all giggles and smiles and sharing deep, dark secrets when you're alone? Well, if these people behave differently toward you in the company of others, that's a serious red flag. To me, that screams "I like you for the most part as a person and think you're really nice and/or cool, but the other people that I'm closer to don't like you, or wouldn't approve of me being friends with you." And isn't this how we behaved in high school? Yeah, run like the wind from these people.

The number of friends you have is directly related to how you treat people. If you are nice to people and really care about them, at least 85% of them will return the feeling and behavior. It's simple math, yet some people still get confused by it. They wonder why they lack friends and even long for them. It's easy to wish for fruit during harvest time when we haven't sown any seeds seasons prior. But wishes like this are futile.

The world will move on without you. People can get over you if you give them enough time. If you are difficult to be around, then it's just not worth it, and people will soon learn to adjust to life without you. As painful as it is to cut ties with a friend, spouse, or other loved-one, if you're more trouble than you're worth, people will move on, and the earth will still rotate on its axis, somehow.

Your children will most likely turnout just like you... Not like you WANT to be or who you THINK you are, but who you actually are. So if you're the type of person that's slightly delusional about how you affect others, just watch your kids grow up. You will see your traits come out in them. Good and bad. It's cute, yet can be scary if you are unaware of who you are at this point in your life.

The world is full of followers. Even as adults, people are still waiting on someone else to tell them what to do and how to think. Most people seem to live in the moment and aren't grounded in a solid foundation. We are a superficial group of people, the human race. It's so easy to change someone's mind about something and send them in a different direction when something new comes along that's fresh and exciting.

The more you truly learn in this world, the more you are humbled about how much there is to learn. That's why the people who are really smart are the most patient. They know that there is a vast world out there that they do not know about and are eager to learn more and SHARE what they've learned with others. The people who have learned "just enough" to make them "appear" smarter than others are the ones who just sit comfortably on what they learned and spend much of their time ridiculing others who don't know as much. When someone comes along who knows just as much and even more, they fight to keep this person silenced or made to feel inferior. Happens everyday, unfortunately.

The more you truly learn in this world, the easier it is to distinguish between those who KNOW and those to TALK as if they know. When you are asking someone a question and they keep talking over you and don't give you a chance to even state your question clearly...RUN. Find someone who actually has enough knowledge to be of true assistance to you. This world is so full of people who have gotten where they are NOT because of what they know, but...(see next statement)

It's truly not about what you know in this world, rather, it's about WHO you know. Timeless truth. It's so sad, but SO TRUE. Anyone watch Real Housewives of Atlanta? No? Good, that show sucks, yet is heavily addictive for goodness sakes! The women on this show are living proof of this, if anyone is still confused about why their hard work hasn't reaped the benefits they feel are warranted. (Kim Zolciak, I'm looking at you)

You should ALWAYS be thinking ahead of where you are now. For the first time in my life, I understand what this means, and I have actually been living with this mindset. With a deeper understanding of this (and many of the aforementioned statements) I am very excited about where my life is headed! I'm not so focused on the here and now anymore, and I'm especially done trying to impress those directly in front of me. I've outgrown where I am in my life, like a pair of 3-year old pants that are out of season and have worn inseams. Time to move upward and onward which is the right direction! :-) :-) :-)

My hubby's blog!

The hubby is back to blogging. He is the best writer I know, and I'm excited about reading his thoughts online. Here's the link; be sure to add it to your google reader!

http://www.thejourneytowardsglory.blogspot.com

Election 2008 weigh-in

I'm going to get right to the point. This election has definitely brought out the WORST in a lot of people. People who used to be peaceful and confident in who they were and in their decisions have now resorted to lamblasting not only the opposing candidate, but even others who happen to support that candidate! I get the feeling that most people may not see what the big deal is. I think this is because 95% of the people that most of us interact with tend to share the same opinions and values. I am one of those rare people who has TONS of friends throughout the entire spectrum. Not just acquaintances that I see at work or every now and then; I'm talking loved ones all across the board. And what I am seeing is not good at all.

Let me start by giving you a little background about me. I grew up in a staunchly Democratic household. The ONLY mention at all of the "the other" party was in a very negative, accusatory way. Maybe there was just cause for this at some point, I'm not exactly sure. This can probably be said of 90% of youngsters entering college, but as a young adult leaving home for the first time, I went out into the world with an extremely narrow viewpoint on life. Things were a certain way, and if you didn't agree with me you were either uninformed or, simply put, a racist. College social interactions were fairly easy; I mostly hungout with other people who looked, thought, and behaved exactly like me. This being the case, I did get teased a lot for my growing appetite for alternative music in the mid-nineties. But this was done only in good, harmless fun. :-) As time moved forward, I began taking internships with large firms, and being in very close proximity with others of varying backgrounds, political affiliations, and social status. My little safe, narrow-minded opinions no longer went unchallenged. I needed to know why I felt the way that I did. I'll say it again: WHY. (Yes, I was clearly channeling Joe Biden just then) :-)



The whole "if you don't feel the way that I feel, then you must be racist" viewpoint slowly died away, as I became more educated about how the world and the way people in it really operate. I regularly got the opportunity to hear viewpoints of people of all walks of life. I took the time to mull things over that I would hear and experience, instead of just reacting all of the time. I was able to determine how those viewpoints fit into my outlook on life. By the time my husband and I were married and chose our church home, my old way of thinking had been replaced with a fresh, new, independent thought process. I became a lot more calm and thoughtful while dealing with other people. I began to listen more than I talked. I began to use my brain more than my emotions, espeically when it came to politics. Every single thing wasn't about me and my feelings anymore. I became an open book with fresh clean pages ready to listen and learn and to be filled with knowledge.

Fast forward 9 years later. Election 2008. We've got a Black man running for president. We've got a woman running for the vice-president spot. And we've got a whole bunch of hatred spewing all over the place from both sides. I am subject to hearing it all day long. If I say anything in support of McCain/Palin (especially Palin) around certain loved ones, an unnecessary debate ensues. Bare in mind that I'm not saying anything negative about anyone, I'm just speaking in support of something a candidate said or did. And if I say anything positive about Barack or Michelle Obama in the presence of certain loved ones, I sometimes get nasty, sideways glances that I don't even want to try and interpret. I didn't even say that I was voting for the man. I only said that Michelle Obama can dress her butt off!! Why the nasty looks? And don't even get me started on Facebook.

Actually, I will talk about Facebook. This is the best example of how frustrating this election has been for me socially. One of the highlights of my day is checking my Facebook newsfeed to find out how my friends are doing. I love leaving little happy notes for people who are having a bad day, and sharing in the happiness of those who happen to be having a remarkable day. I love finding pictures of people and their children that I haven't seen in ages! That is precisely what I use Facebook for...to stay connected in love with people that I care about. Well, people have managed to turn Facebook into a cesspool of hatred. Status updates which were used for staying connected with loved ones are now being used to nastily criticize "the other guy" (or mostly gal, in this case). Right now, when I look at my Facebook news feed, 60% of what I see is negativity. Anger. Resentment. It caused me to make a decision that I really feel bad about, but still feel was highly necessary. Here's what happened:



You see, I went to the Women of Faith conference last weekend, and when I returned I was on a spiritual high; I still feel transformed from that day! I left all of the fear, doubt, anger, basically anything negative upon the altar of God as He commands us to do in His word. The following Monday, when I opened my Facebook news feed to check up on my pals and comment with encouragement where needed, and excitement in other cases, I was VERY frustrated and dissappointed to see mostly loads of negative comments. My spirit was immediately affected by this. The saddest thing to me was that the worst comments were coming from people that actually proclaim to be above this general type of behavior...in fact, they are in a position of "leading the flock", if you will. I'm sure you've seen this type on Facebook. They constantly attempt to lure people into debates with them by creating status messages in the form of "questions". These questions are always under the guise of "food for thought". If you're daft enough to respond then you, my friend, are in the midst of a debate where this other person now has the opportunity to jump up on a soapbox and make their opinions known to everyone.

Well, needless to say, when I was perusing my Facebook news feed last week after a moment of prayer and my first morning cup o' joe, I wasn't prepared to see the word "dumb" in all caps used to describe one of the candidates. I realized I at this point that I had to take extreme measures. Again, supporting someone that you want to vote for is one thing, but ridiculing someone in a public forum is intolerable to me...that's just how I feel. I refuse to allow this type of negativity in my life on a regular basis; I will not let my spirit be comprimised by it. Hearing opposing viewpoints is one thing, but nasty critique and judgment is unacceptable. So I decided to utilize Facebook's "less-than" feature. But unfortunately the most negative people tend to update their Facebook statuses on whims several times per day. So these people were essentially hijacking my news feed with nastiness; 'less-of' them still meant more than most of my other friends. So I had to go a step further and utilize the Facbook 'Block' feature. Do you know that my news feed is already 60 - 70% more positive just by doing that?! I felt bad about having to 'block' people that I love on Facebook, but I have to set my own boundaries. I know what causes me to operate at my best and most positive, and I had to do what I had to do. This doesn't mean that I don't want to interact with these people; it just means that we didn't have a very positive connection via Facebook so there was no love lost by blocking them via this medium.



This is an example of what I mean about seeing the worst in people during this election. Even during Election 2000 when people were screaming RACISM, DISENFRANCHISEMENT, etc...it still wasn't THIS bad. We've got a black man with very little experience, and a beautiful woman with very little experience both running for the most powerful positions on earth, and people are losing their friggin' minds. Let us continue to pray for this country, its leaders, and one another. PLEASE don't forget to pray for our fellow man in addition to ourselves. We all stand in the need of much prayer...the country is more divided than I have ever seen it. Let's please focus on support and not criticism. United we stand, and divided we fall. That's the way it is, and always has been.